Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Christmas treasures found




Early Saturday morning few weeks ago, I quickly put on set of clothes prepared beforehand and take didi (Chinese equivalent of über) to Mariott Courtyard hotel in Suzhou. There are some ladies already there making preparations for Christmas treasures event for women. Esther, the mastermind for this event, gives me a warm hug. She is hyper energetic and her face shines in the indirect and also literal sense of the word, as there is glitter all over it. The glitter is everywhere in fact – on handmade name tags, programs of the event, and tables. There are some vendors already selling for charity and good causes. We wait for our guests to arrive. From those I have invited, six ladies will be coming, two of which are my colleagues at the university, three are students and one is friend. They gradually arrive, and the program starts.
Esther who has been trained as opera singer stats off with some Christmas carols together with the worship team. She takes some high notes which surely no one else in the room could and which resonate to the depths of our bodies and souls. Then there is the Christmas tree decoration and explanation of meanings behind each decoration. One of them is the icicle which represents the sharp, hurting and unlovely things in our lives. Those ladies who want that are invited to hang their icicles on the tree at the stage as an act of surrendering these things to God. The icicles will be prayed over at one of our meetings later on. Then there is a drama about a woman calling to the phone number of psychological support, and it turns out that the one answering the phone is Jesus. He is inviting to call again any time. Next, guest speaker tells about the trip of the wise men to worship baby Jesus and about the meanings of the gifts they offered. At some moments, I wonder what my guests think of the program and if I should comment or explain something, but I feel it is best to sit back and let the content speak for itself. A moving part of the program is singing of the “Silent night, holy night” together while standing up and with lighted candles in our hands. A special dance program by a ballet studio about the theme of Maria, mother of Jesus follows.
As souls of ladies are warmed up, they are ready to give back. Good amount is collected in donations for Claire, a Chinese girl who needs many operations. It looks pretty lively at vendor sales too afterwards. We have a nice lunch and talks with our guests then. Students stick around the longest; we take some pictures next to nice Christmas decorations at the hotel and talk some more. These Chinese students feel it was quite impressive event and the first real experience of Christmas celebration in their lives. I agree that it was a quite special day when I believe many of us found some Christmas treasures, either in form of a thought to consider, Christmas atmosphere enjoyed, a handmade souvenire bought, or else. Perhaps most importantly, our spirits were lifted as we were able to share the message of Christmas peace with our friends. I later on heard there were some women who have lost their family members lately and who were moved to tears during the program. One lady later on shared about quite special guidance by God while being seated so that in the end, the gift of the table went to the person who needed it most (there was a sticker at the tablecloth of each table, and the gift inside the box on the table would go to person sitting oppesite to it).
This event was a fruit of work of many ladies at the church, but meant for wider circle of women. Altogether, there were about 140 present at the event.In the days to follow, I often replay the videos taken at the event on my phone as I go about my day, and review the pictures. And just a few days ago, I received a very special Christmas gift from students I invited. It also included a Christmas greeting engraved in wood which was made into shape of our university participants group picture taken at the event, with each person’s profile and face. This memory will surely be cherished.


Monday, December 5, 2016

Bruised but beautiful




Last spring me, my husband and baby daughter were in Shanghai where I attended women’s conference. One evening, we explored a nearby pedestrian street and had dinner there. Afterwards, we still sat down at one place with a terrace. A street seller passed by offering roses for sale. Jian was getting ready to refuse as one casually does to street sellers, but I signaled him that I wouldn’t mind a flower. So he bought me one of those. As we went on, I put the rose in the pocket of baby pram. By the time we reached back home in Suzhou, the rose was badly bruised, because there was no wrapping paper around. Feeling a bit sad for it, I anyways put the rose in the water. Interestingly, rose did open up nicely during coming days and the bruised outer petals were not much visible any more as they gave way to inner ones opening up. It was a beauty to behold. I have seen also that roses in bad condition with head already hanging down can be revived by fully immersing into water in the bathtub for instance, so the whole rose can drink its full.

Life bruises us at times, and some of those bruises are not easily healed even if we have been walking with God for quite a while. At times there are unanswered prayers, or things we long for, but do not have. However, despite all of that, it is possible to go on with the journey of faith. I love the following lyrics of songs – “my feet are bruised, but they will follow You” (King of my heart/Love&The outcome) and “even in the want I’ll follow You” (I will follow/Jon Guerra). When pressing through our disappointments to the presence of God, we have a promise that our hearts will revive (Psalm 69, 32). The hymn “Joyful, joyful we adore Thee” talks about it too - “God of glory, Lord of love; hearts unfold like flowers before Thee, opening to the sun above.” It is a nice parallel, imagining oneself as a bruised rose that is opening up in God’s presence with the bruised outer petals remaining at the back, not as visible any more, as more and more beauty from the inside is opening up and revealed. At times, it may be so bad that we need a full bath of God’s presence and love to make us well and strong again. If we have hung on through some tough stuff with God, there is something He can brag about us. Offering Him our heart and pressing on despite pain is a pleasing sacrifice that God honors.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Invisible, but real embrace



During my high school years, I attended a church youth group in my hometown. For some time, we also had a choir and performed in a nearby church of the same region. There was a guest pastor from another town for that occasion. We had good talks as I have seen him before at another event. He was middle-aged, passionate and speaking in the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. For that weekend, he invited me to visit the school he had established. Those were wonderful two days filled with deep talks and pastor honestly sharing from his life lesions with me and some others present. Although clearly pastor's life was not problem free, he was heartily laughing often. On Sunday morning, after listening to pastor preaching in his church with passion, we were spending time in the church yard, and it was a sunny weather in late spring. I was about to leave soon. Pastor embraced me for a while, and I felt pure love of God and safety in that moment. It was one of those out-of-the-earth moments when time stops. I believe in the spiritual realm I received something that is at times referred to as ‘the Father’s embrace.’ I have not seen him afterwards. Only once some years ago I wrote to this pastor to say how much I appreciated the visit that time, his heart of the father and that it strengthened me a lot during at that period in my life. He responded by short message which contained the right word at the right season, a deeply meaningful prophetic message I frequently recall.
An embrace can be immensely powerful. It communicates acceptance and assurance that all will be alright. What I am talking about here is not the “How do you do” kind of hug, although that can be nice and uplifting as well. I am talking about someone embracing you with compassion and understanding of what you have been through. There have been some memorable embraces in my life, and God has supplied some people to communicate that part of His love to me. But then again, there also have been difficult times when such people were not available. It is great to be embraced and comforted, but in life, it sometimes happens that we don’t have it when we need it most. Or, seeking comfort in someone’s arms or depending on someone for emotional support too much at times may not be safe or appropriate.
Looking back I also clearly remember instances when I felt in my spirit Jesus embracing me, when there was no one else to hold. Once the feeling was of an embrace so strong that it would almost make me lose my breath. A friend shared once that she had a dream that she somehow could not, and could not get into the arms of Jesus. I think for years of my life, I struggled in similar way, however, once this place in the arms of Jesus is found, you can find comfort there at the end of a difficult day. Yes, most of the time, you do not feel this embrace physically, but it is nevertheless real in the spirit and it makes difference. I have found solace there in distressing conditions and have been able to fall asleep peaceful and well. His arms are always there. It is invisible, but real embrace; we can choose to experience it, and it strengthens and makes difference. He says: “I alone am the One who comforts you. Why then are you afraid of mortals who die, of humans, who are like grass?” (Isaiah 51,12) He is full of compassion for our struggles. With Him, there are no hooks. He understands as no one else. The embrace of Jesus is the most dependable one, through every season of our lives.


Saturday, October 22, 2016

A good day to invite Jesus into child’s heart



On most days, before bedtime I pray with Dan, my oldest son. We often read stories from children’s Bible together. At times, Vincent joins, but he is younger and finds it more difficult to concentrate and follow. For some time, Dan has been feeling more comfortable in Sunday school. We attend English-speaking church here in China, and at first his English was not good enough to fully participate. During last year, however, it has been a pleasure to see that changing. I often bless my children by placing hand over their head and saying: “The Lord bless you and keep you! The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you! The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace!” (Numbers 6; 24-26) The moment of talk, stories and prayer has become something that Dan is looking forward to for ending the day in a peaceful and resolved state. We talk through and apologize to each other if there have been some rough moments during the day. We pray for matters he himself signifies as topical – success at school, good dreams, and also things important to other family members. I hope he learns that we can entrust all matters to God and He will help to carry our burdens.
It was an ordinary evening of last week when as normally, before the sleep I would join Dan on his bed to pray a bit together. This time, however, I felt a bit different urge than just to say the usual prayer about daily matters. Though I felt tired, it was late, and this was quite usual evening, I suddenly asked Dan: “Do you want to invite Jesus into your heart?” We have been reading about Him from children’s Bible most of the evenings for several years, so he is familiar already what Jesus is about. He has been excited the most about the stories of healing and mercy shown to the suffering, such as the story of the good Samaritan. At his age of 7, he has realized the inevitability of old age and death and wondered how long will he live and how would he be able to handle life after we, the parents, are gone. So why not here, why not now, to ask if he wants to invite Jesus in his heart?
He answered: “Ok, we can do that.” I said: “Alright, then repeat after me”, and prayed something like this, having Dan repeat every sentence: “Jesus, forgive my sins. (…) Come into my heart. (…) Fill me by Your Holy Spirit and give me wisdom each moment. (…) Fulfill your purpose in my life." I afterwards explained that when Jesus lives in his heart, He will guide him and give him wisdom what to do even if we, parents, are not next to him. I advised that he can pray: “Help me, Jesus!” - and then listen to a quiet voice inside his heart, and Jesus will advise him what to do and will protect him from evil. We will also meet up in heaven after we die. I suddenly remembered how preacher in my hometown shared that he prayed with his son, who is about the same age, to accept Jesus and his son felt warmth coming into his heart and told this to his father. ”Did you feel warmth coming into your heart?” – I jokingly asked Dan. “Yeah, maybe… perhaps I did,” he answered. 
Probably he will remember this moment later in his life. I have heard people giving testimonies of surrendering their lives to God as kids. Childhood may be a good time to invite Jesus into one’s life if there are such conditions, because the hearts of children are more tender and open and oftentimes closer to God. Or, it might also be that the real turning point comes later. Anyways, I think it was just a good day to invite Jesus into his heart. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.” (Mark 10; 14-16)

Saturday, October 8, 2016

The day of my baptism



In May of 2002 during my Erasmus exchange, I was baptized at Pentecostal church of Karlstad, Sweden. I would like to share some memories of the day, which was very meaningful to me.
I was baptized before as a child aged one year or so. However, it was more like a tradition of blessing and I did not have a memory of that. As I was fellowshipping with believers in Karlstad, at one point it came up about biblical baptism, which is being baptized after you have received Jesus as your Savior and by fully being immersed under water. They encouraged me to consider that seriously. As I did, I felt in my heart that it would be important to do, and arrangements were made at the church.
On that Sunday morning of my baptism, I was wearing a white long robe. There were some other people being baptized on the same day. Few course mates from university also came for the service that day, upon my invitation. Each of us who were about to be baptized, gave our testimonies. I shared that Jesus is my King and is worthy of my praise and that I want to shut the doors to my old life. I said that in English and my Swedish friend was interpreting into Swedish for local congregation members to understand. I was taken under water by pastor and after emerging up went to back room for change. Then I joined my friends and course mates to sit through the rest of the service. Some people greeted me and I was also given a tape recording of the baptism.
With the help of a friend, a room in the neighborhood had been booked where I and friends gathered for a little celebration afterwards. We had a meal and played some games. There were some people from church youth group, from women’s Bible study, and from my course at the university. After that, we still went to a home of one friend from Bolivia and watched the movie Shrek. J I somehow especially remember and liked the moment when the snake was picked up, blown into, twisted and then became like a balloon toy flying in the air. It felt like a freeing parable of being victorious over something evil and scary.
On the way back, I gathered some blossoming branches (it was late spring) and put them in the vase. Wonderful fragrance filled the room. I went to sleep. That night, I had a dream. I was dressed in white and it was as if my funeral. However, I was alive, and people gathered around me were happy for me. There were mostly my family members. The atmosphere was as in a garden party, with very much light and joy. I interpret a dream as being dead to the old life and my family members accepting me following Jesus.
Passing through the water in the Bible in several places is associated with being saved. Noa built the ark and was saved from the flood; Israel went through the Red Sea and escaped the Egyptians. In Mark 16, 16, it says: “He that believes and is baptized shall be saved.” The mystery of baptism is that it is both about the death of old and about the new life: “Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.” (Romans 6, 3-4) Prior to my baptism, I had been Christian for some years, but in some ways I was struggling. After the baptism it appeared as if some kind of spiritual door to the old was shut and there was much more confidence and finality about my decision and about not turning back.