Releasing bitterness

Recently, a friend shared with me a book “Chaos beneath the shade” by Tracey Bickle. Featuring a dark cover with a tree having impressive root system, the book addresses how we all have experienced loss and injustice at the magnitude that God never designed us for. Bitterness may result, manifesting as certain kind of wisdom, cranky moods, critical words, cynicism expressed through witty jokes, being on guard, disappointment, and even feeling burnt out. Bitterness is like a fatal poison in our spiritual root system, lurking within and causing chaos. Like Cain, our bitterness leads us to disconnect not only from God, but also from our brothers and sisters in the Lord. It is a vulnerable place to be and right where Satan wants us. Eventually, we face the valley of decision where we can make victorious choice toward God and toward relationship. We need to be on guard against bitterness in our heart, because most of the time, at first it goes unnoticed. The Bible warns: “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12, 15) Our bitterness affects those around us, especially our children, and can be passed down through generations. Parents need to go ahead and step on the head of the snake of bitterness before it devours their children.

In my own study of the Old Testament, I have found one cause of the bitterness can be that we don’t always get justice and recognition of our efforts from people. In Genesis 31, Jacob said to Laban: ”I have been with you for 20 years. Your sheep and goats never miscarried, and I never ate any rams from your flocks. I paid for the ones killed by wild animals by myself. The scorching heat during the day and the cold at night wore me down, and I lost a lot of sleep. I worked for you 14 years for your two daughters and six years for your flocks, and you changed my wages ten times.“ However, Jacob’s hope is in God’s justice: “If the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the Fear of Isaac, had not been with me, you would have sent me away empty-handed by now. God has seen my misery and my hard work, and last night He made it right.” When leaving Laban, Jacob is heavily pressed between a rock and a hard place – Laban is running after him, but in front is his estranged brother Esau, who also may harm him upon return to homeland. To enter the wonderful promises of God, he faces a lot of wrestling, but finally it is said about him in Genesis 32: “you have struggled with God and men and won.” May we have the same persistence and courage in face of difficult circumstances, pressing though bitterness and difficulties towards something better!
This summer, I got to listen to beautiful meditation on how to release your prisoner to Jesus, which can be found at http://suebohlin.com/mp3s/03-wellspring.mp3, starting at about 0:57:35. I listened in the dark room with closed eyes, and it was a truly a vivid encounter; the background music also makes for a wonderful experience. While holding bitterness against someone, at times we may not know how to release it. I love that in this meditation, we are invited to tell Jesus all that someone did to us, and He is even asking: “Is there more?” To truly release something, first step is to recognize the offense; if we deny and continue to suppress it, we will not be free. Jesus looks to you with so much love in His eyes, and says: “Tell me what they did. Don’t leave anything out, tell me also the effect that it had on you.” He says He needs to know everything. We need to empty ourselves of it, speaking honestly about our feelings to Jesus, and then surrendering the person to Him and what He wants to do with them. And afterwards, He says: “I am SO sorry. Your pain matters to Me.“ He nods at you, and you know that He completely understands. He takes your prisoner into His custody and relieves your burden, saying: “I love you so much! I want you to be free! Enjoy your freedom!” This meditation and co-operating with it brought much release and light, so I sincerely recommend listening to it, and probably not just once.