I am here for you

One evening quite recently, I lied down to rest and had a special experience with Jesus. In my spirit, I saw myself in the apartment of my paternal grandma, reliving a moment in my early teens. At the bedroom of that apartment, my grandma had a big mirror, and there was also a big closet of clothes in the room in dark wood. In the shelves under the mirror, there were some jewelry pieces and fragrances of grandma which I always loved to look at. One of fondest memories of the time was me playing in that room in big emptry TV box, imagining it as a house. Jesus brought me back to a moment in that room which I have not thought of recently. I was standing in front of the mirror and put on a new piece of clothing, which, looking back, was one of my favorites during my early teens. It was a purple summer onesee of shorts at the bottom and strap top, made from very soft and stretchy material; I could almost still feel the touch of that material in my hands. I relived that moment with Jesus and then heard Him say: I AM HERE FOR YOU. I could experience now that this piece of clothing was His special expression of love to me at a time, though I did not recognize it yet then. Indeed in those days it was difficult to get something interesting and colorful like that. Then I saw Jesus lifting me up in his arms, as a young teenager I was at a time, and turning around in the air, as we both were laughing. Later, I saw myself standing in front of the mirror again, and saw Jesus wrapping His arms around me from behind and saying: NOTHING CAN SEPARATE YOU FROM MY LOVE. That moment, sun rays from the window of the bedroom from the left were coming right to us and He was repeating:“Nothing… nothing… nothing can separate you from my love.” I also saw Him sitting on the side of the bed, holding me in total security and acceptance, and saying again: “I am here for you.”  Some other memories resurfaced, Jesus again assuring me that He is there for me, though it all. This experience in total went for about two hours. A deeper stability and assurance of His love throughout my life time was being worked into my spirit in the meantime. The experience somewhat resounded with the message at the website of Sue Bohlin, which I had listened to some weeks ago called “My precious bride”, available in full here http://suebohlin.com/mp3s/MyPreciousBride.mp3. Here some meaningful quotes for me from that message: “How beautiful you are, my darling, you are altogether beautiful, and there is no blemish in you. I want you to revel in my love for you, a love which is bigger and deeper than you can possibly understand, so you can let Me fill you till you are overflowing with the delight of being loved and cherished. I wove your inward parts in your mother’s womb, I watched you grow as I skillfully fashioned your body and soul, and when you were born, I smiled and said: “Oh… I did a very good job!” I think about you all the time. I know you better than you know yourself. I know every habit and every idiosyncrasy about you. You are my eternal companion to sit with Me on my throne. You are precious and honored in My sight and I LOVE YOU. No one and nothing can separate you from my love. Nothing… nothing…nothing can separate you from my love.“

Truly stepping out to follow

In July this summer, very powerful experience for me has been watching the movie The Last Reformation: The beginning (available on youtube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zka4DUYeJ5g), which is about wonderful transformations in street evangelism with signs and wonders following. I highly recommend watching this movie, and there are training opportunities organized by this movement in some locations as well. It started with Torben Sondergaard’s heart’s cry to be fruitful and to truly reach people for Jesus. While doing my readings in the Old Testament, I found some powerful confirmation to what I saw in the movie. In Exodus 4, God sent Moses to Israelites to set them free from slavery in Egypt. It is possible to draw some parallels between how Moses was sent and how the disciples of Jesus were sent out in Mark 16. Moses was given the sign of shepherd's staff turning to snake and then back to staff; disciples were given power over demonic forces. Moses was given sign of skin disease and it disappearing; disciples were given authority to heal. Moses was given a sign of water turning into blood; disciples were baptizing in water and overcoming by the blood of the Lamb (Revelation 12,11). That is the true flowing Christ and stepping out of the boat; I slso love the boat scene in movie The Shack (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1OHyINxuRQ). The aspect of speaking and testifying is important regarding both Moses and disciples; something Moses felt hesitant about and was given Aaron as a help. Help of disciples is the Holy Spirit; Jesus assures He will give them what to say (Luke 12,11). In response, this prayer arises in my heart: “Lord, help us to respond to your call and to be true followers willing to step out! Enable us to walk in your authority, open our mouths, and let signs and wonders follow!” Some claim that signs and wonders are not for today, but Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13,8). Interestingly, the verse of the month in my German Christian calendar was about Jesus making us a fisher of men (Matthew 4,19).

I believe in many cases, we need more than just the Word; we need to touch people to the depth of their need with the power of God, and not just when reaching out, but also the people who are already in the church – so many need physical and inner healing. We don’t want to just have the shape and form of godliness, but God’s power in our midst. I personally connect best to people who hunger for seeing more of God, want to go deeper, and are not satisfied with just regular activities and seeing God in some small ways in their lives. I recently made a new friend who has health issues and it amazed me that though she has been part of fellowships, she has not been joined in prayer for healing. We need to go deeper than just superficial talks and lunches, notice the needs people are having and step out in faith to reach out to them. We prayed with this sister and continue to proclaim her healing. Sometimes stepping out can be starting to proclaim instead of just praying to God, because it is possible to pray from position of unbelief, but by proclaiming we learn to align with the position of faith, hope, and expectation.

However, we also need God's guidance in stepping out. At times we may respond from fight or plight reactions, which are quite human - we either passively bear and avoid something too long, trying to run away, or  - confront and fight with some problem aggressively in our own strength. These responses may be destructive and unhelpful to actually change situation for better. In Exodus 2, Moses demonstrated both of these. He killed Egyptian who was beating Hebrew slave, and then ran away from Egypt. This did not achieve much to change the yoke the nation was bearing. The change came when Israelites cried out to God, He heard and sent Moses to deliver them. We need to pray and be in the presence of God, cry out and receive God’s guidance rather than act upon impulses of our human nature. At the right time, God’s way of delivering Israelites was effective, eliminating the whole system of oppression and letting them to take out the riches of Egypt as recompense. The quote that recently also spoke to me, sent to a WeChat list (author unknown) states as follows: “Witnessing is not something we do for God; it is something we do in response to what God is doing. Real witnessing doesn’t involve selling Christ as though He were a product; it involves learning to recognize the Spirit of God working in someone’s life and joining Him in this activity. “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day."(John 6, 44)”

Encouragement for open opportunities

This summer for some weeks already, I have been daily into Bible, the Old Testament, and often experienced that I was given just the encouragement I needed. For instance, on several occasions, I was given right words at the right time that contained encouragement regarding work.

This summer, I have been looking for some more work opportunities at the university as I will soon be able to round up and defend my PhD dissertation and have acquired some experience in university teaching already. In my search, I once went to a meeting where I had chance to make some personal connections regarding teaching at a different department. All was well, but on the way strangely I experienced strong eye irritation, which shook me off balance and left me struggling with feelings of defeat. Somehow the discomfort followed me into the meeting, and though I had opportunity to make some contacts, I felt low upon return home. But God gave me powerful encouragement through my daily readings: "Don't be afraid. I am your shield. Your reward will be very great." (Genesis 15, 1) In this verse, God gives Abram His encouragement and shows things yet unseen in the visible. I felt God was making me the same promise about opportunity ahead of me. Quite powerful verse was also: “Go! Walk back and forth across entire land because I will give it to you.” (Genesis 13, 17) So despite the way I felt that evening, I sent e-mails and CV’s to few persons, and eventually it resulted in another meeting and teaching opportunity. Interestingly, just before that meeting, I also had a situation that shook me off balance, but I quickly sent message to sisters in faith to pray and was able to calm down and have a good interview.

Another struggle on my mind lately has been about being able to have right balance as this year, I did not get longer holidays in Europe and have been feeling tired, wondering how to manage all areas in my life, such as raising kids, working, and finishing dissertation. These struggles were exacerbated by the fact that my youngest, Viva did not get a place in local daycare for another year, and also dissertation has not yet been possible to defend end summer as I originally hoped. God gave me powerful encouragement from the Old Testament daily readings that addressed these concerns as well. I was assured with a positive message that God wants to bless us at the workplace and bless the work of our hands so it can be a testimony to others. "The Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man. Joseph's master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord made everything he did successful. He put him in charge of everything he owned. From that time on the Lord blessed the Egyptian's household because of Joseph." (Genesis 39: 2-3, 5) Another way God used Joseph to make Himself known in Egypt was through supernatural revelation and wisdom that saved people from famine. When Joseph was put in charge of Egypt, the pharaoh gave him a name Zaphenathpaneah (meaning – the Lord will speak; he will live). (Genesis 42, 45). All this reminded me that I do not have to accept failure in my mind; success is my share as the child of God, and also that there is great destiny for us in places God puts us. He wants us to be awe-inspiring to unbelieving world though our work supernaturally blessed by Him, by His wisdom that comes through us, and acts of saving people and nations, making them live. Moses’ prayer that has been helpful in my earlier working life and that I was reminded of again, was: “Let the kindness of the Lord our God be with us. Make us successful in everything we do. Yes, make us successful in everything we do.” (Psalm 90, 17)
In addition, as I read on in Exodus, chapters 16 to 18 addressed the way God cared for three important areas of concern of Israelites - He provided daily necessities, he gave them victory over enemies, and He protected their leader Moses from getting burned out. This is great encouragement for us as well - God is able to provide what we need, make us victorious over opposition, and give us the right balance in our work and calling so we do not get too exhausted. Let us trust Him with these needs today, He is able.