When I was a child, there were
some times when my parents went to church and took me along. At a time, in the
Lutheran church of my hometown, in addition to altar painting that featured the
baptism of Jesus, there was a painting of crucifixion on the left side wall of
the church. The painting was in dark colors and even there was just a little blood
visible, I was scared of it and turned my head to the other side as we passed
it by. When I grew up in, I often heard sayings such as “that is his cross to
carry” talking of illness or a difficult family member. Also, people would say
that one needs to avoid to give names which would contains some part of words ‘cross’
or ‘Christ,’ because then it was believed that one needs to carry the cross all
of his life. I think these sayings at times show that people have not
understood the deeper meaning of the cross of Christ and got stuck in the
darkness of that moment of crucifixion. They look at the whole event like
through a dark glass, similar as one used to look at sun during eclipse. It
feels as if the suffering of Jesus has no purpose, no resolution.
I
am not sure if you can relate in any way to these childhood memories that I
shared. Suffering is certainly part of life, at times we may fear it, and we
cannot deny it. There was certainly darkness, fear and death when Jesus was crucified,
and it was because he was cursed for us. “Like one from whom people hide their faces， he was despised, and we held him in low
esteem. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet
we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and
afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each
of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
(Isaiah 53, 4-6) Without understanding the reason Jesus died and applying it
personally, His death seems senseless martyrdom. Or, we may be so used to see
crosses that it leaves us indifferent. Perhaps at times it is something too
intense and overwhelming, hard to take in, and we rather look away? A Finnish Christian
friend of mine told me that she is watching the movie “Passion of Christ” by
Mel Gibson every Easter to remind herself of what Jesus has done for her. I
feel for me, to see this movie few times was already enough, as it felt quite
intense and I am perhaps also quite sensitive to unpleasant sights. I rather
like to remember the sacrifice of Jesus by having the holy supper often, also
at home. Jesus finished the holy supper by saying: “Do this in remembrance of me.” (Luke 22,19) The
ways in which we will practice remembering and valuing His sacrifice may
differ, and I think that is fine. I have been wondering though at times why I
rather would turn away from intense sights and feelings associated with
crucifixion, and I am not alone in that. It is overwhelming for quite many, for
instance, I have heard this question: “Why there has to be blood?”
There is a
theological answer to this question, namely, that there is life in the blood
and there is no forgiveness without blood, but I will not go deeper into this here.
Few different kind of answers recently came through our current study book at
women’s group “Experiencing the heart of Jesus” by Max Lucado. There, author
shares, for instance, this way: “I put my hand on the shoulder of my eight year
old daughter and said: “Sara, you’re something special. Someday some
hairy-legged boy is going to steal your heart and sweep you into the next
century. But right now, you belong to me.” She smiled tolerantly and said: “Daddy,
why are you acting so weird?” The love of a parent falls awkwardly on the ears
of child. My burst of emotion was beyond her. But that did not keep me from
speaking. There is no way our little minds can comprehend the love of God. But
that didn’t keep Him from coming.” And further, Max Lucado also says: “It wasn’t
right that spikes pierced the hands that formed the earth. God sat in silence
while the sins of the world were placed upon His Son. And He did nothing while
a cry echoed in the black sky:“My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” Was
it fair? - No. Was it love? - Yes. All heaven stood to fight. All nature rose
to rescue. But the Creator gave no command. “It must be done,” He said and
withdrew. The angel spoke: “It would be less painful…” The Creator interrupted
softly: “But it wouldn’t be love.”
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